Sunday, April 10, 2005

what is He trying to do??

hey ... i've been away for a day or two, flat on my back.

i fell on Friday ... i'm embarrassed to tell you that i was wearing my brand new lovely pink shoes - which matched my brand new lovely pink and black suit ... and i tripped coming off a curb.

it's quite funny now that i think about it. i was meeting a new client and we decided to go to a restaurant because i couldn't find a male student to join us - i try never to counsel single men alone unless i know them very well - even then, but that's another post.

so ... we're walking out of the restaurant and i find myself on the pavement. it was funny ... i laid hands on the foot right away, so did he, and we prayed that there would be immediate healing. the Lord did not co-operate. lol

the worst of it is, this is my right foot. I cannot drive?? after many hours in the hospital - and it would have been worse had i not been one of their on-call chaplains - i am told i've torn the ligament across the top of my foot and i am not to put any weight on it for one whole week. almost a hundred dollars later - prescriptions, tensor bandage and crutches (hey - , isn't the medical system supposed to supply these??) I'm back home crawling around ...

to add insult to injury ... i had another gallbladder attack that night. now ... didn't the doctor say it wouldn't be a problem anymore because there were no stones? i was tempted at 3:00 am to call and tell him, but i couldn't get up off the bathroom floor.

so ... tooo much information?

i wonder ... what is the Lord trying to do? does He have something to say i'm not listening to? is He trying to 'save' me from something? i just don't know.

one of my best friends said ... what have you done to make the enemy so mad? ... i'm not sure that's it.

as i was laying splayed out not so delicately on the pavement outside the restaurant, Psalm 91 went through my mind ... He will not cause you to dash your foot on a stone ...

the Lord knew this was going to happen. He knew it would be my right foot and i wouldn't be able to drive for two weeks. He knew it all. So ... He has a plan. He always does .. that part is very clear in Scripture.

i was supposed to go to a Pastor's retreat tomorrow. i just don't know if i am going to go. for one, i cannot drive, for two, i don't know if this gallbladder thing will act up again. Sr. Pastor says ... come, you'll get prayer. my brain says, i really do not want to hobble around their long halls on crutches and be in agony in a strange place.

something is happening .. the Lord is mixing things up and i feel so 'out of the loop' with His plans. i know i hear Him ... but i have this expectancy that there is a purpose behind all of this ...

it will surely be interesting to see all of this play out.


~m2~ said...

oh, but He goes to such great extremes to get our attention if we haven't been listening to what He is trying to say to us...if we have been so busy that we ignore the still, small voice...if we don't simply stop and just *be*


it could be the enemy trying to trip you up (pun intended) because you are on a path for the Almighty and the only way to slow you down is to have you go too quickly so that you injure yourself.

i really believe it is the former, not the latter...

i know we are to never refuse prayer, but carolyn, if at all possible - try to get back to the doctor's tomorrow about the gall bladder; you may not have stones, but i believe it is poisoned and needs to be removed.

then you'll really have to stop and listen.

Carolyn said...

yes, i would much prefer not to stop and listen in the middle of a gallbladder attack. it is not a pretty thing!

i agree with you ... the Lord has a reason for this. if nothing else, i know He is faithful and He knows the beginning from the end so i'll trust His leading.

i'll see the doctor first thing tomorrow ... promise.

Gayla said...

Sometimes He chooses to heal, and sometimes He chooses to develop.

And of course, He can do both. :)

Carolyn, it is an inspiration to me to see you seek His face in the midst of pain, discomfort, hospital visits and even laid out on the curb. You are a testament to faith, and your example is one for me to immulate. Thank you sister and friend.

I'm praying for you.

Carolyn said...

gayla, thank you for your kindness. your words brought tears to my eyes. i was just thinking what a whiner i've become. *giggle*

you are a treasure to me as well. *hugs*