Sunday, November 26, 2006

Retreat number 22 ...

I have been on the ministry team of Cleansing Stream Ministries Canada for 10 years. This awesome ministry has become part of my very soul during this time. It was at a Cleansing Stream retreat that I received my healing from Multiple Sclerosis (see March 2005 for a picture) in May of 1998.

This past weekend was retreat number twenty two for me ...

It was the most amazing experience, the best retreat EVER, although everyone laughs at me because I say that every retreat. But it is true, the retreats become better and better for me. Easier, more healing, and they bring me closer to the Lord than I could have ever imagined.

God has blessed me with increasing responsibility and servitude at these retreats over the years. For the last few years, I have been training the on-line ministry team and have had the honour of seeing and participating in the Lord's work of healing the church thousands of times. Often I have been asked to present some of the topics ...

I found out this Wednesday, two days before retreat, that the Lord wanted me to present on the spirit of Death. *eek*

I had initially requested to be freed of all responsibilities at the church which were voluntary and had barely been able to keep up with my pastoral counselling duties. This has been a very dark and trying few months for me.

One of the ministry staff contacted me early last week. She had been seeing my in therapy for a serious and painful issue which has plagued her for many years and we had been making good, but slow and painful progress. She asked me if she should still serve at retreat given the "mess she is in". Of course, I told her that the work on "the line" is the Lord's and not hers and that when she was so weak emotionally that the Lord could show Himself in a powerful way as strong in her life and to bring healing in to other's lives.

Great Pastoral response, right?

Well ... the Great Pastor gave me the same one.

I couldn't believe I was considering not going to retreat!

Our Canadian Director is my senior Pastor and he always seeks the Lord as to who does what at Retreat. I immediately called him and told him that I would do whatever the Lord wanted. Well, my usual responsibilities were what the Lord wanted.

Imagine my surprise when I was asked to speak on Death? *smile*

I had intimate understanding of how that stinker affects one!

Need I tell you how I am feeling today after ministering on my feet from Thursday night until Saturday night with about 8 hours sleep in the three days?


God is Good .... more tomorrow.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Keeping Power of God

As I slowly start to dig myself out of this dark place, I am so aware of the Keeping Power of God. He has been here through it all. Sometimes He is as quiet as a whisper, sometimes He bellows through the screaming of my soul to tell me He is here.

How I long to be baqck in the place of peace and rest, but I realize that it is a short lived place sometimes, when the Lord has more refining work to do in my life. He's had that iron out and the bleach taste is still in my mouth, but I know without a doubt that He is working in and through me for my own good. And those of my clients.

None of my clients have this address, I don't know how they would react to the inner squacking of my spirit ... I have been overwhelmed at the anointing and wisdom that comes out of this woman's mouth when someone comes in pain trusting that I can lead them out of their wilderness. Many can see I am in my own, but isn't it awesome that God can minister to them in and through mine???? It is awe inspiring.

I often cry out ... how come You don't break through mine, LORD??!!! ... and He tells me ... Be still, Child. I am still God.


He is good.

As dark as it gets, there are awesome rays of Sonshine that break through. He is always behind the clouds and we need those clouds to bring the right conditions for the soaking rain of God to refresh.

I'm waiting, Lord.

I think I felt a drop ....

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Power of Attitude

From Deadly Emotionsby Dr. Don Colbert - excellent book!

I recently read a short essay on attitude by Charles Swindoll. He wrote:

"Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.

I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me."

Don Colbert goes on to say:

"All deadly emotions, to some extent, derive from our attitudes. And attitudes are something we can control.

You can choose how you will think and feel about any circumstance, event, or relationship in your life. You can choose to a very great extent how you deal with grief, resentment, bitterness, shame, jealousy, guilt, fear, worry, depression, anger, hostility, and all other emotional situations that readily trigger physical responses.

The first step you need to take toward health is to reflect upon your own attitudes. Own up to the attitudes you have. Ask yourself, "Is this the way I want to think and believe?""

Good words.