Tuesday, January 12, 2010

rats ... sick again

I wondered why Coco was all over me yesterday. She wouldn't stray from my side and as I stuck to the couch, she stuck to my side. I was tired, but didn't really think I was sick.

Today ... different story. Woke up with horrible headache, stomach ache, body ache. *sigh* I see the doctor tomorrow so I'll have to start looking again at my sinuses. Maybe it is time to have the surgery that I postponed last year.

I really hate being sick ...

Social and School

January 12, 2010
Grandma’s Prayers from:
Grandma, I Need Your Prayers
Quin Sherrer, Ruthanne Garlock

Lord I pray for he protection of my grandchildren in the classroom, on the playground, on the school bus, in the carpool. Watch over their coming and going, and watch over them while they are on campus. Give them discernment and wisdom, and help them keep alert to danger. I pray for the right friends to come into their lives at the proper time. Give them godly, like-minded friends, and may they be a good influence on one another. Help my grandchildren to apply themselves well in their studies and to use the talents You have given them to their full potential. Lord, I pray their lives will always glorify You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Today we pray for their social life and their studies. Jadzia is in grade 2 - she's very good at school, loves to read and enjoys her time there. I'm glad to pray for her to have good friends and to be aware and alert to danger.

Joshua is only 2 1/2 months old. But it is never too early to pray for these things.

Imagine all the things they will need to face in the coming years ... how differen this world is from the world I grew up in.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Grandma's prayers

This is another thing that I have started doing.

I want to bless the families of my children - and my grandchildren. It is so important that they all are blessed and I have an unique opportunity and responsibility to pray for them.

Today's thought is about the home they live in ...

I want to bless the marriages of both of my children. Kelly and Derrick; Robert and Amanda. They have made choices in a mate and those choices fulfill their needs. Being a mother-in-law is a joke in our society, but my true prayer is that they would all be happy - and more than anything, that they would all know Christ - because only He can bring true, lasting peace into their homes. But that relationship is between Him and them. I trust Him to fulfill His side of the equation.

January 11, 2009
Grandma’s Prayers from:
Grandma, I Need Your Prayers
Quin Sherrer, Ruthanne Garlock

Lord, I pray for peace in the environment in which my grandchildren are reared. May it be a home filled with Your love and be a neighbourhood that is safe. I pray You will give their parents and those who care for them the wisdom and understanding to nurture them. Also provide them positive role models who will be godly examples. Thank You for the gift of these precious children. Amen.


On to other happy things - Jadzia!!

Jadzia is now 7 years old! She spent four days with me over New Years - I picked her up on New Years Eve (Thursday) and returned her home after church on Sunday. We had a good, good time.
We had our usual trip to Walmart - Carolyn doesn't go too far without getting something there ... she was in a very bouncy mood and I wanted to keep track of her so I put her in the shopping cart. I was told afterward that it is not the safest thing to do, and I will not do it again, but it was sooo fun and no one was hurt.

She is so much like me - a nut - and we can find laughter and fun in just about the simplest things to do ... just look at that face!! She is and continues to be a joy to me.

December 13, 2009 - I first met him

Now, that is the face of one very happy Grandma. I got to meet him. He is a beautiful baby - very sweet. Robert and Amanda have been consistent and faithful with visits - I've been able to feed him and all those things that Grandmas take joy in.
I praise God for His answers to prayer .... we prayed so hard. How I wish I had blogged about those prayer meetings! Darlene, Rob, Sandra, Dwayne and I stormed the gates of Heaven to see this (and other events in their lives) to come to pass.
I believe that the turnaround was due to our God being faithful to prayer. We just do not know what goes on in the heavenlies when prayer warriors come together in prayer - specific prayer.
God gets all the glory!

Shortly after ...

My first mistake? Maybe, I don't really know. I've searched my heart long and hard about this and wish that I had blogged about it during the process as I tried to do when Robert was missing all those years ago.

Robert and I are too close.

Amanda sensed it - and rightly so, she wanted some space between us. Or so I assume. The short of it is, I didn't see them from after the wedding - July 12 - until December 13.

Joshua was born October 23rd.

Words cannot express the pain of being left out of his birth and the first few weeks of his life. He was seven weeks old when I saw him first - but so much better than not seeing him at all ... There were friends who emailed me these pics before I had a chance to meet him.

Robert is now married.

He met Amanda in December of 2008 and by the end of January she was pregnant. He was delighted - he has always wanted a family.

You can imagine my surprise?

I like Amanda. She is a very pretty girl, as you will see. She has had her share of difficult times in her life, I believe they brought her and Robert together. But good looks isn't all that life is about - I've learned that lesson very well - but that's another post for another day.

They were married in Cuba at a resort my best friend and I go to often. Out of all the "stuff" that has happened in the last few years, Darlene (and her family) has been a bright spot. She took on the job of my scheduling and is amazing at it. Because of that, we both need a break regularly from the stress of psychotherapy private practice. Our trips to Cuba to rest and "debrief" have kept me sane for the most part.

We shared our resort with them, and Sirenis La Salina in Varadero put on a fantastic wedding ...

I had the honour of leading the ceremony - there is nothing sweeter than being that close to such a special time in their lives.

In typical Robert style - with all his tough exterior, he cried through the whole ceremony. <3

Remember my Prodigal - Robert?

He returned home in 2005 - just showed up and came back into our lives and turned it completely upside down as he turned our lives upside down when he left.

Over my years of counselling, I've learned a lot about temperaments - especially using the Meyers Briggs Typeology. Robert's temperament is the strongest ... which usually means he will be a leader, strong, independent, etc. Well, that he is. I love this boy so dearly that there is not much he can do wrong in my eyes. That's not good. He has been able to manipulate me and get away with so much over the years.

I think of my daughter, Kelly. She couldn't be more different. She's calm, dependable, sweet, compassionate, a fantastic mother and wife. She has done "all of the right things" in life. She's been a stabilizing force over the years - basically unchanging and dependable. I love and respect her with all of my heart.

Robert, well, he's Robert. There is no one else in the world like him. As is common with his type of personality, he marches to his own drum - and that has cost me a great deal of money over the last 5 years. I don't regret it all - I wanted to give him a good start, but I was blind to the cost it would be. To Robert, myself, Kelly, my husband, marriage, etc.

Love is blind. Yup.
Boundaries are very difficult to establish when there is fear. Yup.

Oh well, on to the news ...

Catching up

I guess it is time that I get back to blogging.

I've been sooo busy and truth be told a little (?) depressed over the last few years. I've isolated to the point of not wanting to talk to anyone - even myself. Funny, strange, I work and love my work caring for others. I can listen to anyone's story - be compassionate - and truly feel at the end of the day that I have helped another. God anoints me to do my work and He is glorified in all that He does for my clients.

But me ...

What about me?? *sigh* I wish I could even express what about me. I truly do not know.

I saw a play at a dinner theatre years ago - I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can - that's sort of how I feel these days; that I dance as fast as I can and it is never fast enough. I feel that I can never get all that I need to get done; that there is always something more I need to do and not the energy to do it. *sigh* Enough whining.

I'm back.

I'll update in a couple of posts ...