My first mistake? Maybe, I don't really know. I've searched my heart long and hard about this and wish that I had blogged about it during the process as I tried to do when Robert was missing all those years ago.
Robert and I are too close.
Amanda sensed it - and rightly so, she wanted some space between us. Or so I assume. The short of it is, I didn't see them from after the wedding - July 12 - until December 13.
Joshua was born October 23rd.
Words cannot express the pain of being left out of his birth and the first few weeks of his life. He was seven weeks old when I saw him first - but so much better than not seeing him at all ... There were friends who emailed me these pics before I had a chance to meet him.