I went to have my car serviced this morning and decided to wait an hour for it instead of taking the shuttle home to get some work done.
Normally I do not have an hour to "waste", but I sensed the Lord prompting me to wait so I did.
What an amazing day.
It is 16 degrees here ... about 57 or so F, and I sat outside in one of the courtesy chairs and just let the son shine upon me. It was awesome. It has been a long, long, winter and I feel like I have been in a cave. I've done very little physical activity and have gone off my favourite low carb way of eating only to gain back almost 20 pounds.
With this sunshine and wonderful weather, I want to drop the weight, but like most women my age (48), it is not as easy as it was 20 years ago to drop it. Actually, it seems next to impossible.
So ... do I need to be happy with me the way I am?
I realize that my self esteem really was tied up in how I looked and I have this crazy idea that I will only be pretty ... acceptable ... attractive ... worthy ... until I weigh 130 pounds on my 5'7" body.
ack. silly, huh?
But yet ... I need to be less weight for my health. I want to be more active and it is very difficult with this weight. I started to have trouble breathing while climbing some stairs or running around in praise the other day. Oh boy.
This Cognitive Therapy stuff is really starting to bug me. Self analysis is not fun. I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles this way.
Today, it is back to peppermint tea, lots of salads, and prayerfully a little less weight. Oh Lord, help me to keep this in balance.