Friday, September 16, 2005

rattle, rattle. bang, bang.


here i am again, Lord. i'm standing outside a door in this doorway rattling the doorknob, yelling, and knocking.

i thought You told me to go to this door? am i not hearing Your voice correctly?

Lord, i want nothing more than to do Your perfect Will in my life and to lead Robby as You have called me to do. again, in the early hours, i come to You and again, i consecrate this journey to You knowing that You will lead us tiny step by tiny step.

i know that You long to be glorified in our lives. Lord, please, anoint me to show Your love and the fruit of the Spirit in my everyday disappointments.


hmmmmmmmm. robby and i went to court yesterday morning at 9:00. we were told that if we were there that within an hour or so that the bail restrictions would be changed and the transfer of surety from nancy to me would be complete.

then robby could start school and his life.

*sigh*

it didn't happen. why did it not happen? at 2:00, they still had not found robby's file! the file which includes charges, the 'victim's' disclosure that she lied (old girlfriend, breakup, false charge of domestic abuse, yadda, yadda). these are charges which will be dropped in due time, but due time must be due.

Lord, what are you teaching us? me? robby?

at 2:00 the duty crown, bless her heart - she worked so hard for us, told us to go ... that was great because my first client of 6(!!) was in half an hour. so we 'wasted' a day waiting in the court.

or did we?

we had a great day. we had breakfast together, we had lunch together, we went outside so he could have a smoke, we went inside and sat on hard wooden benches and talked, we went outside for him to have a smoke. we went to a local store and got a great deal on some excellent quality pants for him to return to school. he sure does 'look' like a pastor even if at this point he doesn't act like ... nor can he go to school to learn to be ... a pastor.

i think i'm starting to see something ...

the lessons. he's learning valuable lessons.

they rebooked his court date for october 6th. that pretty well settles his school. he will have missed three weeks of classes. that is almost impossible - outside of God's strong anointing - for him to catch up with the classes. if, that is, the registrar will even consider enrolling him.

*sigh*

me thinks we have been rattling door handles that the Lord does not want us to open.

i get this picture in my mind of me ... did you catch that? me ... not robby of whom this story is supposed to be all about ... hmmmmm ... me ... rattling the door handle and the Lord standing on the other side. he's got His big Hand up against the door preventing me from getting that d.a.n.g.e.d.t.h.i.n.g. opened. rattle, rattle, bang, bang. sigh.
ya think maybe i'm not getting it???

*sigh*

oh, Lord. thank You for leading us. please, continue to lead us. i'll listen, really i will. thank You for the lessons we are both learning. i love you so!

as we are walking out the door, pastor robby says to me ...

"mom, He has to have a reason for this. He has promised to lead us tiny step by tiny step. His perfect Will ... it will be done. we just need to trust Him."

ahhhhhhhh, a lesson from God through pastor robby to pastor carolyn. don't you love it?

6 comments:

Gayla said...

out of the mouths of babes, don't ya know!

Trust Him (which I know you do).

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

It's been so exciting to be on this end and see how God is working in Robby's life!

Carolyn said...

oh it is awesome for me as well. things are happening. he has a job offer for the weekends, but i will not post it until it comes to pass and he has finished the first day.

it appears lately that the opportunities come, but the Lord is very quick and very efficient at closing the doors He doesn't want open.

doesn't appear to be a whole lot of choices and free will happening. i've never been so tightly led by Him in my life.

WES ELLIS said...

Good post!

pete porter said...

Carolyn,
It's hard for us to wait, the flesh wants to help. Abraham with Ismael. The greatest lesson is to learn to "be led by the Spirit". That's better than a college degree!
Be Blessed,
Pete

~m2~ said...

how are those doors, sister? any (oh, help me with this word) luck in opening them?

ooooh, i know luck has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING!!

praying for you all...

Carolyn said...

thanks for the prayers, dear sister penni.

pete ... so good to see you're still checking in!

the doors are still rattling. it was difficult to teach tonight's class knowing i had expected him to be here. he's reading the material and trying to keep up with the classes.

prayerfully he will be freed up to come next week. if not, it will be october 6th before he gets freed and that would probably make him ineligiable to register. we'll see ....

God knows what He is doing.