what i didn't share was the good stuff. the laughs. the many, many sweet memories we talked about. the Lord.
we talked a little about the Lord. he told me how he used t pray when he was in jail. in his own jargin, his relationship with a distant Lord he wants to know better but doesn't know how.
he's come to the right place. but that is going to take time and relationship. the last thing i wanted to do was preach to him, i just tried to do it with my life and my love for him.
i also didn't write how he didn't appear to want to leave last night, nor how he didn't want me to leave. how he came around my side of the car and gave me a big hug before he left. a big hug by a big guy in an old wrinkled suit. he looked so cute. still my little boy. i didn't catch it until this morning. i was so anxious to get back to Bill because he was so grumpy, i missed robby's invitation to stay at the donut shop.
he asked me if i would be willing to come back and drive them home later. what does that mean? he was not all that far from his house ... and ... there are buses. he just did not seem to want to let go. always this sense of something that is being left unsaid. always this sense that he does not want to leave me. that has been consistent since the first time i saw him last Tuesday.
maybe he is not as entrenched in this as i think? if he was going to get stoned last night, it would have to be a decision, not just something they all do. from all he talked about on the trip and for the last week, it's obvious he is stuck in that place between this lifestyle and change.
thank You Lord for the brightness of the morning and a good night's sleep. everything always looks brighter in the morning.
i also want to thank my friends for their continued prayers. i KNOW that i know that i know ... i would not be standing without them. yours coupled with the prayers of Jesus.
thank You Jesus, You are always interceeding for us all. please keep my precious boy and his girlfriend in Your mighty Hand and do not let harm fall upon them. thank You that You kept Your Hand upon him all these years and that Hand has brought him back to me. please keep this heart ... there is nowhere else i can be than hidden with You in God. nowhere else. only You have the words of eternal life.
now Lord, please anoint me to minister to the precious ones You have brought me today at the office. i am so tired in my soul and my body. as i align them under my spirit, hidden with You, may Your anointing and freedom and love flow through me as never before. You have given me an amazing job and ministry. please do not let anyone be hurt by my struggles today. thank You that You have always been faithful in this way ... You are truly an awesome God. how You keep it all together all the time is beyond my understanding. but i am so thankful it is You who is in control today. if it were me, the earth would stop spinning and everybody would fall off.
i commit this day to Your precious care. In Jesus' Name i pray. Amen.