Monday, October 31, 2005

Thankful for His keeping grace

it's been a long few months.

i've been reflecting on what has happened and the challenges we face. even yesterday when i went to visit with sr. pastor (my boss) and his wife, i am so aware of the challenges those in ministry are facing right now.

i see it in my practice. marriages are challenged. people are tired and stressed. they're looking for something ...

i have many non-Christian clients because of the Employee Assistance Plans i work with. this has truly been a blessing for me. what an outreach! people come into the office and they immediately sense the peace and tranquility there. it's not me. that office is consecrated to the Lord. His presence is truly there in a precious way.

what an outreach to offer this place of peace and sanctuary to seeking people ... they are looking for that peace that passes all understanding that can only come from a personal relationship with Jesus!

but i digress ...

what i have been thinking on this morning is God's keeping mercy. my daily practice is to soak in the tub in the morning and read my Bible. the Lord blesses me with sweet communion of Spirit, and often i am overwhelmed that i have read 10 or more chapters before i stop. He is showing me a consistency in the Scriptures i have not seen before.

today it was romans. after chapter 12 i had to get out of the bath and start to get ready for my day. robby is struggling today ... he was up all night with a terrible croupy cough and he's wanting to sleep in a little later. it's 11:30 and he must get up as my first client is 1:00. (today is his study day at my office)

i want to cry with all that is going on in our house. there doesn't seem to be any place where i can get my peace ... the oppression is strong ...

then the Lord met me in my tub. lol. we had a time of sweet conversation. He infused me with strength and peace. He gave me the love and desire to make it through one more day with the issues we have been challenged with.

today is the first day of my fast. i am praying for His wisdom. we've been here before with milly and robby and yet, i still do not have the peace i need to tell her to leave. how He loves her. i need more of that ... i also need to know how i can possibly help this girl if she is to be left here for us to help.


that's why i'm fasting. there is no other way to get to the heart of God for me right now.

thank you penni, for your comments to yesterday's post. the Lord wouldn't let your comments out of my head ....


~m2~ said...

you are so welcome, but it really isn't me. in my flesh, the first thing i'd say is "kick her out!" but in my Spirit, i feel "she needs to with it out..."

it's chaos, it is, but is it confined to her space? the space you have graciously allowed her to be in, or is this a *common area* like the living room where everyone communes and shares as a family?

if it is shared space, there is no excuse for it. and as homeowners, we feel there is no excuse for it in their living quarters, but that's not the point i want to make.

as an invited guest within our homes, while we would expect our guests to have more dignity than that, milly is only living the way she knows. she is going to be adverse to correction because she's known this way her entire life.

in the big scheme of things, carolyn, and i am asking this in total love: how important is it, really, that she doesn't put her laundry away? i wouldn't do her laundry for her, per se, but can you close the door so you don't have to walk by and see it?

there are much bigger issues at stake here, i can't help but feel it deep inside me. there is a lot of hurt that has to be gotten to in order for her to heal, and if i may be so bold as to compare this to a godly love: how God loves us, through our piles, through our heaps, through our dung, and always simply meets us where we are. i can actually envision Jesus sitting on top of a turned-over laundry basket and having a sandwich with milly in those pictures..the junk eventually will get stored away when He works it through with her. and He may very well want to work it through with her through you.

yeah, sometimes we are left to our own devices to do so, but i am uncertain that this is the way to go with milly. something to think about.

love on her.

i love you and am joining you in prayer.

Carolyn said...

difficult words, penni. but very true. what you wrote resonates in my heart and i know it would be my advice to someone who came to me ...

yes, her room is 'her own' although i believe it should be robby's. it's a crime that he came home and within one month had to relinquish his room to someone else ... although, he did it willingly.

the laundry, and dishes and other messes are in the common rooms and that is the aggrivating factor. the room is behind a closed door.

the only peace i can get, as i've said before is to fast and pray and trust the Lord to lead.

thank you for your prayers in this area. we all need them ... big time.

however, my heart and my son are also involved in this.

Carolyn said...

sorry, the last line didn't get worked out in the edit...

my son and therefore my heart are involved and impacted, and that is what makes it so difficult to walk in the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.) and not in the flesh (i want to wring her neck!)

tee hee.

thank you. i know the Lord will lead and until then, i'll do the best i can to crucify the flesh and love, love, love. it's easy to love your friends, harder to love your enemies (carolyn's paraphrase)