Again, I must apologize for not being in and adding posts which will astound you with their deep and meaningful expressions of what the Lord is doing in my life. (as though in my wildest dreams, I could even think that that would be the case!) *giggle*
My life really is too busy. The Lord breaks through almost every day of late to remind me that I need to bring some more balance into my time. The demands of ministry are great and I love my work so much, there is always one more person who needs to be heard and another who cannot get counselling because they have no money. They're willing to do anything to spend some time with another human being who really cares. How can I turn them down?
I thank the Lord that for every person who cannot afford to pay for counselling, there are three who can, who can support those in our body who need to be picked up and held and cared through their trials. I know that each person who comes through my door or calls my line is a child of the most High God ... it is His responsiblity to care for them and for me. What treasures I have, maybe not in money in my bank account, but in my heart as I watch the Lord work through their lives!
Awesome, but I digress. *sigh*
As many of you know, there have been changes going on in my ministry and in my life. The Lord exposed a difference in theology in our church which I have struggled with for several weeks. I want so much to work in unity with the people of God. I respect the thoughts and theologies of others, but it has been increasingly difficult to work in the environment ... I will not get into particulars because it really doesn't matter.
I see myself as an eaglet. I'm in the nest. I've been resting, learning, growing and now it is time to fly. The Lord is an amazing God and He teaches the mother eagle how to send her babies out of the nest. Remember, an eagle builds her nest way up high in a tree or on a cliff. In order to teach her eaglets how to fly, she nudges them off the edge, lets them fall, and then swoops down below them to catch them and bring them up to safety.
Can you imagine the fear and surprise of a precious little eaglet, leaning back in her comfortable nest, being brought food from mommy day after day after day? Ah, the life... and then one day ... mom comes along, nudges her out and woooooosssshhhhhhhh ... our little eaglet if plunging, faster, faster, faster down to earth. Something, created by Almighty God, rises up within her causes the little eaglet to flap her wings, faster, faster, faster ...
And then, when it seems the little one is doomed for destruction ... mom comes along, swoops down and catches the babe. *sigh* *safety* Mom brings the child back up to the nest and the others comfort her as her heart slowly stops pounding. This goes on for several days. Finally, the eaglet in her distress learns how to flutter a little and hold her own in the fall. After several weeks of this not so fun exercise, finally mom starts to bring sharp objects into the nest. No longer does she bring pieces of fur and lovely soft things to snuggle under, but she brings sharp pieces of glass and twigs. It is not so comfortable in the nest any more.
Mom has a purpose.
She is teaching and training her babies.
She is not hurting them, but causing them to grow.
She is teaching them to fly.
Finally, one day, mom pushes the little ones out again. And when they flutter and bring themselves back to the nest, she pushes them out again.
It is time to go. It is time to start their own lives. The nest is not so comfortable any more. Mom is always there to love and comfort, but only for a short time now.
God has a job for the children now.
Their own lives.
In many ways, my life is similar to this little eaglet these days. I know I must leave the nest and go on to another stage in my life and my ministry. I look forward with great excitement to a new chapter. In a precious Church and with precious people I have ministered to for years in another capacity through Cleansing Stream Ministries. In many ways it is an answer to prayer, in many ways it is a stretching which I am not so comfortable with.
But I know it is God's call. And ... I am at peace with it now.