Monday, February 26, 2007

Out of the dark place

I cannot believe it has been three months since I last posted. It has been a difficult three months for sure.

My precious husband has been diagnosed with kidney cancer. We have to wait until Wednesday to find out how serious it is, we are praying for a miracle. We did pray over him at church yesterday and I am going to stand on faith that God's will will be done.

We are still not in the same house; he does not see the severity of the mould and continues to live there inspite of the obvious damage it has done to his endocrine system. We do, however, spend Saturday nights together and yesterday he came back to church after a few month's absence. We are truly seeing answers to prayer there.

I finally had to submit to some antidepressant medication. It appears that the mould and resulting illness left my system so stressed that I fell into a fairly deep clinical depression. I have counselled many people who have been depressed, but had no idea as to the possible depth of how bad it could get. It is a very, very, very dark place. I cannot imagine those who refuse the medication as for me it was an almost instant improvement with the second one. From that point on, it has been a steady climb up and out of that pit.

My ministry is going very well. The Lord continues to provide enough clients to keep me busy but not enough to hire another therapist. I'm wondering what His next step for me is, but since He has chosen not to include me in on His plans, I must wait until He opens a door for me.

Robert is also doing well. He has reduced his course load at the College and is working hard on learning what he is enrolled in. It seems that five courses were too much for him last semester and we needed to give him a bit of a break. I keep forgetting that he is not me and that he needs to move at his own pace. God has been very, very faithful to us.

My regret is that I did not continue to journal during the dark times. It would have been interesting to read the upward progression. Oh well.

God is still good. All the time.

7 comments:

~m2~ said...

oh, sweetie, i've been thinking about you so very much lately - i would love to chat a bit with you, but this week is a bit bad - maybe in between commuting times? email me with a time and a number where it would be good to call you.

love and miss you,
pen

Lorna said...

(((Carolyn)))

love you ...

see-through faith said...

just checking in again ... to say you are loved and very much appreciated

Mary Beth said...

I've been checking in periodically and praying for you in your blog absence. So glad to read you again, so glad to read the happy news about your son.

And so sorry about your husband's illness. You will all be in my prayers.

Carolyn said...

Mary Beth ... hugs ... and thank you for your prayers! It is nice to know that there are people out there praying even when we don't know it.

They are very much appreciated.

Carolyn said...

Lorna ... Penni ... I don't know what I would do without you and your prayers. I do love you as sisters so very much ...

Gayla said...

Oh my Carolyn, I'm so sorry to hear this news.

I'v not been in here in a long time, since it seemed like you quit posting, and of course I never go into LCF anymore.

I shall check in more often.

Praying for Bill...