Saturday, October 14, 2006

Still feeling very fragile

I didn't want this blog to be an update on my struggles so much as my victories. It seems that I have been having way more struggles than victories yesterday and my old Word of Faith teaching is leaving hard and screaming all the way.

Robby told me that when he was praying for me a few days ago the Lord showed him that I would think things were going to only get better when we moved, but that it wasn't the case. I have to admit that I thought there would be a lot more emotional and physical release when we moved, but it has proved untrue.

It looks like my body is detoxing from the mould, etc., in the house. I am so tired and achey, it is frustrating. I am normally a very high functioning and busy person and do not deal well with not having enough energy to do everything I need to do ... especially when I am the majority breadwinner and it is difficult for me to work feeling this way.

The Lord has been so good. He has consistently brought new clients my way which is a relief, but for the last three weeks, I have only been able to see half of my client load. That means half of my income. Unfortuantely, it will not show up fully until around Christmas from the receipts from the insurance company. I'm praying that the Lord will bring more cash paying clients around that time to cover the expenses.

The Lord did provide work for Robert at the College so he can work off his tuition. I met the College President in the hall on Friday and he told me how happy he is with Robby's work! Yeah, God! Good work, Rob!

Now I can be paid for my work at the College because I was going to apply that to his tuition. That is a good God in the works, isn't it?

Things are going well with us at the new home, although Milly is not feeling well right now. As we speak they are off to the doctor, something about her not taking her pills properly and her system is out of whack. Prayers appreciated there!

She's matured a lot. They have been keeping their room very clean, it's nice to see a bed made and the laundry all up to date. It really is nice.

Bill and I have been talking on the phone every day and he has been asking me to come to the house for the night. Unfortuantely, I don't want to give up all of the detoxing I have done to go back to the house for any length of time. It's just not worth it to me and I think he is finally starting to understand by my consistent refusal to go near the house.

But I miss him so much. I don't miss the constant discussions about money at all, but we seem to be able to date very well. It's sad when we love each other so much but cannot live together in peace. Very sad.

Well, thanks for reading. I'll try to be more forthcoming for those who are worrried and I thank you for your calls and emails. I know I have been very scarce, which is out of character for my outgoing personality, but I need desperately to get my health back.

Blessings, my friends.


Lorna said...

dating is a great way to allow God to restore your relationship with Bill.

Hang in there Carolyn. He's got good plans for you.

Excited to read how well Rob's doing -and hope Millie gets better - also that God has your finances in hand, though you may still have to tighten your belts for a while. (Grrr don't you hate that? I do!)

revabi said...

Prayers for you dear one.

saltnlight said...

I love you so much. I miss you loads too. I am so glad that you are doing so much better. I would love to chat with you when you have spare moment. It is really good to hear about Robby. Give me shout. Michele

A Heart of Worship said...

Carolyn, I miss *talking* with you. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better from your detoxification process. Musta been some mold!
I am always blessed when I read about Robby...the very same God that brought Robby back to you and restored him is the very same God who can restore and improve your relationship with Bill. Amen?


see-through faith said...

wondering how you're doing now friend ...

the reverend mommy said...

You are still in my thoughts and prayers.
Let us know how you are doing as soon as you feel like it.

Carolyn said...

Thank you for the prayers! I'm feeling better, but still quite fragile. God is good, when I am weak, He sure has shown Himself strong!!!!